the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
