C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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