But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize