I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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