If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
