I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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