Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
