Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
