I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize