I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
