oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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