Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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