Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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