I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
