if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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