you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize