If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Randomize
