fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
