This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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