i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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