Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
