The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
