Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
