Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Randomize
