Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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