I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If I die, sorry about rent.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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