i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
