splinters make it hard to masturbate
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
