just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
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