i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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