Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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