I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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