great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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