She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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