He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
