awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
