Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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