Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
