i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
