How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
