4 words: hood of his car
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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