your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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