i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
