I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
