we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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