Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
love makes seman taste better
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
