And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
