He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
