That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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