I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
