just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
