Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
