His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She's the barista slut.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
