Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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