I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm both gender and math confused
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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