Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
