How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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