can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
