Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
