4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
