i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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