now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize