OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
