it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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