While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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