Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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