Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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