i jhust puked up my retainher.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
