I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
