The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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