I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
