I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
