We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
