If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
