Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
