Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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