I think I won the penis lottery.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
